Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
