I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
