your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize