His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
They have beer where we have blood.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
