Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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