i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize