..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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