i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
