When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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