VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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