the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
