dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
