That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
