2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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