On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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