Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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