You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize