i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
