he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
