Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
