Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
only if we run a train.
done.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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