my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
