Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
