I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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