hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
