call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
