Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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