Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...

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(281): View more from Texas

I just know... :) goodntight

(1-281): View more from Texas

Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

shes about as inviting as chlamydia

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(248): View more from Michigan

I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts

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(423): View more from Tennessee

He played with my vagina like it was a turntable

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(734): View more from Michigan

I wish I had a frozen water bed.

(253): View more from Washington

best. idea. ever.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"

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(765): View more from Indiana

What happened to your back?

(260): View more from Indiana

Rug burn. My ass is even worse.

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