We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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