Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
