I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
