Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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