i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
