its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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