Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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