My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
