just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
