i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
