pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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