i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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