she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
