It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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