He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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