I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
