No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize