Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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