drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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