Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
