I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
