I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
