Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
