Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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