I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
