i barfeds in our rink
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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