is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
