you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
