just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
