So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
