just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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