theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
