from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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