I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
They have beer where we have blood.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
