maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
